With great
satisfaction the eminent elder statesman at our lunch table pulled out the
program from the wedding reception he had attended the previous weekend. The affair was held in upstate Erie and
featured two gay women tying the knot.
Unfortunately, because of Pennsylvania’s draconian laws on gay marriage,
the happy couple was forced to perform the formalities of marriage in New York
State. They then returned to
Pennsylvania for the celebration: our ancient land from the dark ages, proud of
its state owned liquor stores; Prothonotary offices; duplicitous mayors, tax
collectors and police officers in every hamlet; and a bastion of preserving heterosexual
marriage.
Our
friend, the elder statesman, just turned 90, has the vim and vigor of a young
70 year old, but he is certainly not a progressive. He is renowned in republican
politics and as a lifelong conservative in these parts. What struck me was how his initial hesitation
in attending the event turned into pure joy on seeing two families support
their respective daughters (also known as the Dick Cheney-gay daughter effect).
He was truly moved as the couple began a new life together with all the rights,
benefits and responsibilities of any other married couple.
As
gay marriage becomes a common event and more heterosexuals take part in such
festivities, the stigma of gay unions as well as legal and religious objections
will quickly fade. Gay married couples
will become passé at the grocery store, our community events, dinner parties
and houses of worship.
I
have been thinking how my attendance at “out of orbit” family occasions and
religious ceremonies over the years have played an important role in my
assimilation into our diverse American culture.
My first Passover meal and High Holiday service at a Jewish Temple;
listening to the liturgy of a
Catholic mass; enjoying a Hindu temple with my sister-in-law; and attending a
special service at an African American Baptist Church all come to mind.
Celebrations
are a tremendous opportunity to get to understand one another. An entree to appreciate the uniqueness of
other ethnic groups, religions and sexual orientations, while marveling at the things
we have in common. After all, everyone
is in a festive mood and social and political differences are left at the
door. At the wedding reception the elder
statesman got to dance with the bride and the groom.
Lately I have been reading a great deal of
history on Islamic culture. The overlap
with Jewish and Christian traditions is quite extraordinary. I recently added attendance at a Muslim
service and seeking an invitation to break the fast at Ramadan to my bucket
list. Maybe the elder statesman has a
free afternoon and will want to come along.
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