THE REAL THING

         Something clicked in my aging memory banks while reading the recent O-R article on Supreme Court Justice Anthony Kennedy.  The word is that Justice Kennedy has been chosen by his colleagues to be the author of our highest court’s gay rights decision, soon to be released.  The article details Justice Kennedy’s friendship with Gordon Schaber, a gay man who mentored him through law school.  This relationship helped Justice Kennedy shape his progressive views on sexual equality and placed him years in front of the curve on this important subject.

         This charming story is not unlike so many others where life events shape important opinions. I have come to understand that there is “nothing like the real thing” in getting us to work for one cause or another.

         Nancy Reagan changed her views on gathering stem cells for research when her Husband developed Alzheimer’s. Dick Chaney altered his views on sexual orientation after his daughter came out as a lesbian.  Many average Americans become lifelong advocates for a social issue that was of little importance to them until a family member was afflicted with a rare disease, struck down by a bullet, or returned from battle as a wounded warrior or with mental health issues.

           I have found that meaningful opinions, ones that feel “right”, come into focus through actual experience as opposed to second hand reading, discussion, or talk show pundits.  For example, there are a multitude of books on the grieving process and dozens of memoirs written by cancer survivors.  Until we actually lose a loved one or receive a diagnosis of cancer, these written accounts give us information but no deep understanding of the crisis.

         No matter how many articles I previously read concerning the Tuscany region of Italy or how many wildlife shows I watched concerning the Serengeti in Africa, nothing prepared me for the real experience of traveling to these places.  The real thing changes your perception of what a place, or a social issue or a rare disease is all about.  August Wilson could never have written his ten play cycle about African American life in Homewood, without sitting in the cafes, barber shops and bars and listening to the stories.  His imagination and poetic sensibilities gave him the talent, but his experience of the real thing gave him the plays.

         There may be a lesson to be learned in all of this.  The further a politician, author, religious leader, or social commentator is from the real thing, the less credible he or she becomes.   The call to vote, worship, and think in a certain way deserves our consideration when the speaker or writer has life experience regarding the issue at hand.

         This is why Senator McCain gets my attention when he calls for zero tolerance for torture by Americans, when he suffered so greatly at the hands of the North Vietnamese.  Why Pope Francis gets my attention when he speaks about humility and the poor, given his work in the slums of Buenos Aires.  Why Nicholas Kristof, the award winning columnist, gets my attention when writing graphic commentary from the scene in faraway places, often at personal risk.

          The absence of the real thing is a major source of latent discrimination and intolerance.  Those who rage against Latino immigrants, welfare mothers and same sex marriage often have never met an individual who fits the profile they are ranting against.  Embedded prejudices and community norms replace actual experience in forming long held opinions.  As our country becomes younger, more urban minded and more diverse, the real thing will replace fabricated myths and move us forward.