Saturday, December 23, 2023

SOME THOUGHTS ON SURVIVING COMPASSION FATIGUE

 

In this holiday season, we would all like to turn our thoughts to joy, peace, and “goodwill toward men.” Given the state of our bitter domestic politics, the continuing war in Ukraine, and the horrific Hamas attack on Israel and the Israeli response, feelings of kindness are difficult to come by. Our well of empathy is all but drained.  Compassion for human suffering can be fleeting in the wake of continuous tragedy.

Short of watching the Hallmark Channel 24/7, is it possible to place ourselves in the holiday spirit to bolster our mood for the coming year? Can we maintain compassion when the constant torrent of suffering through news sources causes fatigue and wears down our capacity to care?

I am going to suggest a perspective for processing world events that has helped me remain compassionate. It is not a viewpoint wrapped in holiday pageantry. It avoids the solution for tolerating tragedy and surviving compassion fatigue advocated by Pig in the comic strip, Pearls Before Swine. When faced with bad news this sensitive character hides under the bed covers.

My alternative starts from the premise that humanity is complicated. It recognizes that it is not easy to find a moral center in disputes like the Israeli-Palestinian conflict. Each conflicting narrative has a complex history. It is my responsibility to study past events in order to understand the dispute. When an individual, a religion or a nation believes it has the only way forward, it causes compromise, world order, and stability to go off the tracks.

Let me start with the simplest of examples. During this season of celebration, I wish everyone “Happy Holidays” rather than “Merry Christmas.” I sometimes receive uncomfortable stares indicating I must be disrespectful of Christmas. In fact, I am making a conscious effort to recognize the dozens of important December holidays that have nothing to do with Christmas. “Peace on Earth” requires a broad perspective and the willingness to honor the celebrations of all humanity.

My second point involves our families, communities, and fellow Americans. Let us make a commitment to celebrate what we have in common as we work to respect and understand each other’s different points of view. For example, we all can agree to show gratitude for our first responders and to service members who are not able to join us because they are away, keeping us safe.  Moreover, in the upcoming national election year we can all recognize that the privilege of voting is as important as who we vote for. The least we can do in a moment of reflection is to wish every fellow American good health and happiness for the year ahead—and mean it.

Things become more difficult when faced with tragedies abroad that require our compassion. Support for the war in Ukraine is slipping as the conflict enters an extended stalemate.  The shocking attack by Hamas in Israel has divided public opinion on the appropriate Israeli military response. Hamas employed barbaric methods to massacre 1200 civilians and took 240 hostages, including 10 Americans. So far, over 18,000 Palestinians have been killed in Gaza, including many women and children.

Like most Americans, I find it difficult to reconcile the horror of this conflict with the message of the holidays. Worse, no compassionate solution seems possible.

Several factors have helped me avoid compassion fatigue. First, I gave myself permissible to feel empathy for the suffering of both the Israeli and Palestinian people. I recognized that it was my responsibility to study and understand the history of the conflict and the positions of both sides, free from the emotions caused by violent soundbites on the news. I decided no one could fault me for believing that serious violations of humanitarian law by one-participant does not give the other license to do the same.

Second, I came to the realization that in a complex tragedy of this magnitude, there are many different perspectives at work. The diplomats seeking the release of hostages have a contrasting role from the elected leaders looking to gain public support. Those in charge of the military are focusing on issues far removed from those that concern the humanitarian organizations. Ironically, the only participants sharing the same emotional response are the families burying their dead on both sides of the conflict.

I was encouraged by the two University of Pittsburgh Professors, one Jewish the other Muslim, who recently came together to provide a forum for dialogue and compassion on Pitt’s campus. According to the December 6, Pittsburgh Post-Gazette, “The two hour event centered on what compassion looks like locally and nationally during tumultuous times.”

Lastly, the weekly Obituary column in a recent issue of the Economist magazine rejuvenated my enthusiasim for compassion. It tells the story of the 74-year-old Jewish peace activist, Vivian Silver, who spent her later years organizing 45,000 Israeli and Arab-Israeli women into an organization called Women Wage Peace. Ms. Silver was confirmed killed in the Hamas attack on October 7. Her son was asked what Vivian’s reaction to the new war would have been. He replied, “This is the outcome of not striving for peace.”

After all the carnage, I can hope that more antagonists on both sides will now listen to this message. I will show compassion for the actors who are willing to compromise for a lasting peace in the Mid-East and elsewhere. Happy Holidays!

 

 

 

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